Island Vibes Magazine

Long distance relationships…Do they work?

Posted on 22. Dec, 2009 by admin in Health

How to make them successful

By Nicole Bowers

Long distance relationships can be both hard and rewarding. Having been in a long distance relationship for the past three years and in and out of distance previously, I know how trying it can be. It’s hard when you feel that you are always living for that future moment when you reunite. And when you are together with your special someone, there is always that thought in the back of your mind of when the next time will be, and how you will be able to make it happen. It is hard to be happy when it is so difficult being apart. But seeing your significant other at the end of the distance is a feeling to which nothing else can compare.

In order to be ready to commit to someone throughout distance you have to know that the relationship is serious on both sides. You need to be committed to make an effort. “Couple” means two, and both people need to be strong in their communication, even when they are busy or going through hard times.

Some tips to consider during a long distance relationship:

1. Be positive—Depending on the distance or place, it might be costly to communicate. Make sure you use the time in a positive way. Try to use the time to talk about your day and remind your partner that you love them and you care about them. It is easy to be sad or angry due to the distance, but you should try to avoid this when you only have a few minutes. Channel the negative energy into something else; it isn’t fair to either of you to suffer.
2. Be trustworthy and trust—You need to have a mutual understanding and trust with your partner to be able to make it through the distance. Don’t waste time second-guessing yourself or your partner. Make sure that you are both ready to make the commitment and that you trust each other enough to be confident throughout the distance.
3. Make plans—It is always nice to have something to look forward to. Plan times to talk on the phone or to chat, to help you get through the time apart. Plan your visits so that you have them to think about and so that you know that there is an end in the distance or at least a break in the future. That being said, surprise visits and calls are always nice and it is fun to be caught off guard by something romantic.
4. Remember to live—Remember to live in the present, even when you are waiting for that visit. Make sure you have some fun and don’t forget that there has to be more than just the times that you have together. You need to enjoy your life, even if there is a part of it that is still separate from you partner. Don’t make yourself suffer when you don’t need to.
5. Take advantage of technology—Technology makes communication easier these days. Take advantage of the possibilities to call and chat online, as well as to upload photos. These kinds of possibilities make communication more possible on a daily basis and more personal. You can almost feel like you are right there with your special someone. Portable electronics also make it possible to communicate at any time, wherever you are. Drop a quick note or message from your mobile to your partner, just to tell them good morning or let them know that you are thinking of them.

Remember to keep your happiness in mind. Don’t let the distance get to you or put a strain on your relationship. You have to know when enough is enough. If it gets to be too much, or you can’t trust enough to handle the distance, maybe it is time to go your separate ways.

Long distance can work, if you put work into it, but it is not easy. If you are really in love, you can get through it. Remember to stay positive and communicate as much as possible, but don’t forget to live a little even while you are apart. A relationship takes two.

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