Cyber Love

Posted on 06. Nov, 2009 by admin in Business, Health, Viewpoints

By Janelle Julien

Thanks to technology, many people have had the opportunity to expand their social networks.

It’s not so long ago that phone cards were a necessity to call back home to the Caribbean. Then along came email, instant messaging, and the world of online dating services. These technologies have connected people around the world, allowing them to meet and interact with each other in ways that were nearly impossible ten years ago. It made it that much easier for people of different cultures living in different countries to learn about each other and start a conversation about anything.

Now we have Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and Meetup, which can be used to strike up a romance from virtually anywhere. Using any of these technologies have pulled down all kinds of barriers, including distance/geography and cultural/racial. Dating across racial and cultural lines is hardly new throughout the Caribbean, but it’s become more common for many Caribbean people to date and marry people from outside the region. Part of this has been due to more Caribbean people living, studying, and working abroad.

Single in the City
Depending on where they live and work, chances are that most Caribbean people living abroad will find the dating pool very small if they want to date or marry someone from the Caribbean. Often, they may be the only person from the Caribbean in their new neighborhoods and work environments. Outside of the Caribbean, it’s not uncommon to see a Caribbean man or woman dating a person from Russia, Canada, Asia, or the United States.

It can be difficult meeting people. Social networking and online dating websites have provided a means to do that in a less intimidating environment than going out to the club.
Many of these social networking sites have forums and groups to meet all kinds of people from various ethnic backgrounds. It’s a great way to meet people who share your interests.

No matter how many instant messages or tweets you share with your online love interest, eventually you have to meet the person. While technology is a great way to meet and get to know a potential love interest, it is not a replacement for good old fashioned face-to-face interaction.

The Culture Gap
Trying to start a new relationship can be challenging enough; throwing in new cultural experiences into the mix can be overwhelming for all involved. So how do you navigate the world of interracial and intercultural dating?

First, take a deep breath and relax. Then remember to have fun with it! Here are some tips for making a smoother love connection:

1. Take it slow. When dating a non-Caribbean, there is the hope that he or she will be interested in exploring your Caribbean roots. Music and food make good conversation starters. These safe topics are so entwined with culture that everyone has an opinion about them without being offensive. It’s usually safer to leave the politics discussion for the third or fourth date.

2. Keep an open mind. Love is a two-way street. You have to be just as willing to learn and embrace your partner’s culture as well. Pick a few things about your culture that you feel comfortable sharing and encourage him or her to do the same. Make it a date by attending a festival together or having a potluck dinner.

3. Be patient. Your new boyfriend or girlfriend may be just as nervous about learning about the Caribbean as you are about sharing your heritage and culture. Chances are both of you will be moving beyond your comfort zone as the relationship progresses. Support each other’s efforts to bridge the culture gap by giving souvenirs of your homeland as a reward.

Time, trust, and effort go a long way in building a lasting relationship. Sharing and learning about each other’s culture is just another step in the process. And if you run out of things to discuss, you can always reminisce about how you first met on Facebook.

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